“You should smile more” and Other Impossible Expectations

As women, we often have an impossibly narrow line to tread. You should smile more. You’re too bubbly. Why don’t you stand up for yourself? You’re too loud. You’re too girly. You don’t look like an engineer. Try not to draw so much attention to yourself. Don’t wear dresses or no one will take you seriously. You’re bossy. You’re too emotional. You’re a pushover. You probably intimidate him. You only got the job because you’re a woman.

You get the point. The list of contradicting expectations society has laid out for us is limitless and I sometimes feel like I’ve heard them all. The words are discouraging, frustrating, they leave us angry and often feeling powerless to do the “right” thing on our quest for a successful and meaningful career.

I was recently and unexpectedly reminded in a similar fashion to the stark examples above precisely why I set forth on a mission to begin blogging. I am passionate about building a community for women to see that whoever they are or choose to be, there is a place for them to thrive and succeed in engineering and other STEM fields traditionally dominated by those that might not look quite like them.

I wanted my first “health and beauty” post on my page to highlight one seemingly small yet for me, not insignificant, way in which I reinforce for myself the idea of staying true to who I am. I first spoke to Melissa (IG @melissaivanic) at Estilo Salon and Spa in Houston, TX earlier this year. She really believed in my mission and wanted to help me show others that being a professional, career driven woman and taking care of your hair do not need to be mutually exclusive. I’ve always been into high-end fashion and beauty products, but my hair and how I care for it are often somewhat of an afterthought. After an initial consultation, I put together a Pinterest board of hair “inspiration”-the hair I’d always dreamed of having but never thought I could attain.

Estilo is a quaint but trendy salon nestled just southwest of Downtown in the Montrose area. Its intimate atmosphere makes it the perfect place to settle in for a day of self-care complete with a latte or glass of wine, get a little talk therapy in with your stylist (ha!), and walk away feeling glamorous, beautiful and confident at the end of it all. I got my first balayage during the thick of summer so Melissa created sun-kissed waves that left me looking like I’d spent all of July sipping margaritas poolside. I was always worried about coloring my hair because the streaky highlights of the past did not grow out well. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my color stayed beautiful and vibrant for the four months between appointments. Melissa recently transitioned my color for fall by deepening the blonde ever-so slightly and adding more of an ashy tone. She also added a conditioning treatment which left my hair impossibly soft and bouncy. I love the end result and yes, #ILookLikeanEngineer.

Estilo has a lot of great deals on services and products going on over the holidays but it is their busiest time of year so if you’re interested in freshening up your look before your upcoming holiday parties be sure to call and get something scheduled sooner rather than later! You can book with Melissa by sending her a DM on Instagram or calling the salon.

Happy Holidays!

xoxo, Kate